Key information about your particular project that you would like anyone who peer reviews your draft to know
Also I know for the second part I don't have visuals but I will be adding those for the final. I'm really looking for comments on my content / tone before I try to make an elaborate project.
I think a major thing to keep in mind is that not only is this a super rough cut, I have also been sick for 2 weeks. It was challenging to find a day when my voice didn't sound like a gremlin in order to record with the right tone. I don't know if I necessarily found that day but I did try so I am sorry if I sound unamused. I was amused I've just been slowly dying.
Major issues or weaknesses in the “Rough Cut” that you’re already aware of (as well as anything you’d like to know from your editors about those weaknesses).
I think my biggest weakness is my tone considering how sick I've been.
Major virtues or strengths in the “Rough Cut” that you’re already aware of (as well as anything you’d like to know from your editors about those strengths)
I have been doing a lot of research and in so my opinion and plan for my entire project have both changed. It is really easy to get swept up in what everyone else says and follow the crowd and I am trying to give a clear headed argument in my project.
Hi Erin!
ReplyDeleteGood job. You present very compelling evidence on both sides of the argument.
Some things you could improve in terms of form might include the following:
-I think you could have a little more variance in your voice. (I know this is kind of hard to solve though, since you probably just recorded!)
-There was also a part in the beginning where you had pod calls. Perhaps you could provide a visual here instead of just plain audio. It doesn't look coherent in the rest of the video essay.
Overall great job!
Hey Erin!
ReplyDeleteYou did a really good job on this! The visuals are very compelling and really backup what you've said and argued. That being said there are 2 really important elements to a Video Essay, the visuals and the audio. In your case the visuals are really well done and compelling but the audio is very one-note.
I think, especially in an argument tone variation is really important, it makes you seem interested and invested and in this video essay you seem a bit detached which makes me wonder why you would argue about something you don't feel passionate about.
However, your argument is very well conceived and well done, just need a little work on the audio!
- Julia