Sunday, February 21, 2016

Local Revision: Variety

This blog will explore my sentence variety in my first project.

Q: How much variation is there in your sentence structures in the current draft? Can you spot any repetitive or redundant sentence patterns in your writing? 
A: I do notice a lot of repetitive sentence structures in my first draft. The verb is is abundant in my project. By choosing to use different sentence structures and verbs, I could better maintain my audiences attention.

Q: What about paragraph structures, including transitions between different paragraphs (or, for video/audio projects, different sections of the project)?
A: Instead of using transition sentences and making  my piece flow, I wrote longer paragraphs and separated them into smaller paragraphs to incorporate white space in my QRG. I do think I use transitional phrases well leading into my paragraphs. I am able to incorporate historical facts and relative up-to-date information in my work.

Q: What about vocabulary? Is there variety and flavor in your use of vocabulary? What are the main strengths and weaknesses of the draft's approach to vocabulary?
A: Although I do use a lot of the same verbs like is, was, and are, I do employ a lot of more complex vocabulary throughout my draft. I utilize words like "intertwined" and "slaughtered". I could use more of these complex vocabulary words. A weakness in my vocabulary would be that I do not use the complex vocab throughout my work. By distributing this more throughout my piece, I can appeal to my audience more by appealing to more of their senses using vivid language.
Dooley, Kevin. "St. Joseph Variety Shop" 03/16/2011 via flickr. Attribution 2.0 Generic

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